Oh, Pee-Wee.  I don’t care how many kids you molested or murdered or whatever it is you were convicted of so long ago.  You still hold a special place in my heart.  Go enjoy Sturgis!  (funnyordie)

Death Comes to Town premiered this weekend, but I didn’t get to see it because I don’t have IFC.  What, do I look like some kind of millionaire?  (warmingglow)

Vintage food from the 70s.  A time when bacon could be put in a toaster (?) and baby food somehow looked more disgusting than it ever has.  (davescupboard)

The new Gervais/Merchant show Life’s Too Short may eventually head to theatres, but only if Warwick Davis can fit it into his busy schedule between making terrible Leprechaun movies.  (guardian)

Speaking of Gervais/Merchant, the Glimmer Twins of Guffaws (I’m still working on that), here is a new teaser from their show An Idiot Abroad, starring everyone’s favorite melon-headed dope, Karl Pilkington.  (youtube)

I was never a Green Lantern reader so I don’t anything pertaining to him or his backstory, but here are a shitload of pics for 17 “new Green Lanterns”, whatever that means.  They look awesome.  Maybe I should catch up on the comic?  Naw, I think I’ll just watch T.V. instead.  (gammasquad)

What do you get when you cross Mexicans and zombies?  No, not Muerte de Dios, smartypants! You get Juan of the Dead.  It’s set in Cuba?  Why should I care?  Oh, because I said Mexicans earlier.  But they’re the same thing, right?  (gammasquad)

James Cameron was on G4 to show off and discuss the 3D camera he used to film Avatar, which is actually called a “mini beam splitter rig”, and is set up inverted to be…ZZZZZZ.  (g4tv)

If T.V. shows were Choose Your Own Adventure books.  Oh, Photoshop.  You know just how to waste someone’s life.  (warmingglow)

5 insane fan art fetishes.  I don’t know why superfans have to be such weird fucks, but they are.  Furries, fatties, preggers, gender-confusion: it’s all here, and involving all your favorite animated characters like Buzz Lightyear, Woody…hell, even Link from Zelda.  (gunaxin)

In honor of America’s greatest pasttime: the 30 greatest onstage falls.  (ranker)

Movie icons as cutesy, minimalist characters.  Somebody mold these and sell ‘em!  You’ll make a fortune.  (thehighdefinite)

On episode 92 of the Nerd City podcast, our guest and good friend, Anthony LeBlanc, told us about an internet series wherein nerdy porn stars sat around playing some legit D&D.  No nudity, no nothing.  Just some hardcore gaming.  I don’t know why I never posted the videos, but here they are now.  They’re totally SFW, but I must warn you: you will either be bored out of your mind OR you’ll fall in love with them even more.  Kimberly Kane are you single?  (videogum)

“TRON-Sutra”.  Because, why not?  (wonderhowto)

5 inventions you won’t believe came from war.  Nylon stockings, really?  My boner thanks you, World War II.  (cracked)

Awesome: some dude in Portland covered the bike lanes with Mario Kart-inspired graffiti.  Was it our own “Key West” Ken Bowman?  I doubt it, though he does play a mean ‘Kart.  (gammasquad)

Make masturbation a sport!  If this were an event and I were a player, I’d beat all who came against me.  Why is everyone laughing?  (ipetitions)

12 heaviest drinkers in T.V.  Give Nerd City it’s own show and that list is going to swell.  (guyism)

Ninja-shaped cookie cutters for the adventurous kids out there.  Just be careful of them triads, man.  If they could get Bruce, they can get you, too.  (perpetualkid)

Sci-fi ink cartridge art.  Now that’s what I call recycling!  (buzzfeed)

And lastly, I reported on Cee-Lo’s song the day it came out and to no one’s surprise, it has blown up; it’s on everyone’s lips and radar.  Well someone had the clever idea to pair it with classic music-related scenes from a couple movies.  I’ll be honest, I chuckled watching Lloyd Dobbler stand stoically while his boombox blasted “Fuck You”.  (dallasobserver)

Today, August 20th, marks the birthday of the sci-fi weirdo and Hewlett Packard-engenderer, H.P. Lovecraft.  So let’s all wish him a…Jesus, he’s 120-years-old?? Someone call Guinness!  (hplovecraft)

I guess I can’t mention H.P.’s birthday without also including Fred Durst, Dimebag Darrell, Al Roker, Robert Plant, Isaac Hayes, and (my personal fave) Connie Chung.  Will her husband ever find out who the father is?  Perhaps we’ll never know.  Oh, here’s an online game you can play where you pelt Tila Tequila with shit.  I forgot I was doing Mish Mash for a sec there.  Just such a sucker for birthdays!  (heavy)

Speaking of great authors (look, I think Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog-Flavored Water is one of the greatest albums of all time, okay?), you can now own J.D. Salinger’s toilet if you have a million bucks laying around.  He didn’t write any books on it, but I’m sure he read a couple.  (gammasquad)

Ah, the video game glitch/video game secret.  Being the first kid on the block to discover you is probably what it felt like being the first man on the moon.  Pure invincibility, looking down at that floating speck of a planet.  (dorkly)

I can’t tell you how psyched I am for Piranha 3D!  And in honor of that film and it’s genre-analogous predecessors, it’s attack of the underwater monsters!  (screenjunkies)

More than 10 Black Bears were found ‘guarding’ a marijuana farm.  In related news, Max wants to know where he can buy some Black Bears.  (vancouversun)

As much enmity as I feel for Star Wars and the odium I hold towards George Lucas, I will admit the Star Wars: Uncut uber-fan idea is, if nothing else, fun.  But couldn’t we do it with, I don’t know, Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something?  Y’know, something with some allure!  (starwarsuncut)

The evolution of the Batsuit.  Ah, I’ll never forget the inclusion of those tumescent nipples.  (unrealitymag)

Hack director Darren Lynn Bousman, who was obviously named so because his folks wanted a girl but didn’t want to give up the name, is teaming up with the producer of Dude, Where’s My Car? (one of only two movies I ever walked out of) to bring us a teeth-clenching, fist-forming movie entitled 11-11-11.  And I’ll give you one fucking guess when it’s being released.  Oh, Hollywood.  You’re so fucking asinine.  (heatvision)

Taking the pill makes women smarter?  Obviously, these scientists haven’t met my ex-girlfriends.  Unless by “smarter” they mean “crazier”.  (news)

Got this one from my BFF Devin: Nickelodeon game show hosts, where are they now?  Oh, Summer Sanders.  I loved you before I even knew what love was.  And by love, I mean ‘had a boner I didn’t know what to do with’.  (mtv)

Batman steals some cinnamon twists from the Taco Bell drive-thru.  I always thought of him as a Nachos Bel Grande type of dude.  Huh.  (gammasquad)

Stop what you’re doing right now; it might not be what you’re supposed to be doing with your life!  Click this link, and let this website help you choose your path: what the fuck you should do with your life.  (wtfsidwml)

15 greatest chosen ones, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.  (geekosystem)

Ray Bradbury thinks we got too much internet and cellphones.  Can someone tell this dude he’s the reason this shit exists.  (gammasquad)

I’ve sang my praises for stuff like this before; call it nostalgia: 8 sexual innuendoes slipped into kid’s cartoons.  (asylum)

Believe it or not, this Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger was bred right here in the ol’ land of the free, home of the diabetic.  Shocking, I know.  (smokingsection)

I’ve always loved the term “Rust Belt” when referring to the industrious section of the Midwest.  I recently discovered a shitload more “-belts” exist.  Beef up your knowledge and wow some people when you drop stuff like “Stroke Belt” or “Jell-O Belt” around ‘em.  (wikipedia)

13 awesomely useless inventions.  They’re awesome.  But also useless.  Proceed with caution.  (urlesque)

7 technologies that are going to kill us all.  Well, except for the zombies and vampires.  They’ll be fine.  (uproxx)

Seth Rogen is lending his voice to another animated kids flick.  Look, unless he’s getting high and dropping f-bombs like shoes at a sidewalk sale, I’m just not interested.  Pixar, take note.  (heatvision)

HBO is making a show about the porn industry which sounds cool until you find out that Mark Wahlberg is producing it.  Wait, actually that makes perfect sense.  Really in shape dude with the acting ability of a cigar store Indian?  Couldn’t be a better match.  I take it all back.  (warmingglow)

And lastly, did you know your siblings can actually make you gay?  By the way, how is your sister, Ben?  (cracked)

If you’ve ever wanted to see a tiger high off his ass on catnip, now is your chance.  Aw man, he just ate all the Cap’n Crunch!  (gammasquad)

17 cats eating pizza?  Holy shit.  They must of gotten a hold of some of that same catnip.  Get a haircut, you kitties!  (buzzfeed)

The guy that makes all those awesome 1950’s style “premakes” of popular sci-fi movies has made a new one:  The Avengers.  (youtube)

In case you’re not 100% positive everyone knows what a gigantic alcoholic you actually are, might as well err on the side of safety and buy this beercan bandolier.  Sure you’ll look like a complete asshole, but that’s point.  Perhaps the police will see you and think you’re carrying some sort of artillery, and then shoot and kill you.  Because you’re the obnoxious alcoholic who bought a beercan bandolier.  (likecool)

6 most horrifying ingredients in everyday cosmetic products.  Why isn’t baby oil on this list?  You know how many babies they probably have to flatten to fill an entire bottle full of oil?  Lots.  (cracked)

Some really cute girl quits her job in a really cute way.  Gosh, she’s cute.  Really cute.  Cute.  Huh?  It’s three days later and I just came to.  (thechive)

First look at Kilowog.  Look kinda like Bebop.  Wonder where Rocksteady is?  (gammasquad)

Here’s the recipe for fake blood that they used in Evil Dead.  That was fake blood?  I thought that was a documentary.  Are you trying to tell me The Book of the Dead isn’t a real book??  What the fuck! (moviemiscellany)

Kelly Brook is naked in Piranha 3D, if you’re into that sorta thing.  Me, I like it when the piranhas are naked.  Yeeeah. Oh, hey — THIS little maritime cutie looks like fun.  (wwtdd)

So some witches scientists just created a flavor-changing cookie.  Cool, I’ll be right back — I’m just gonna go FREAK THE FUCK OUT.  (youtube)

And lastly, in honor of Justin Bieber getting nailed in the face with a water bottle yesterday, we are presented with “Celebrities getting hit in the face: a video essay”.  (guyism)

5 real historical Death Stars, for those of you who need your history likened to George Lucas properties to make them easier to comprehend because you’re such a shut in and braindead loser virgin that you can’t understand anything pertaining to reality, even in the slightest.  You pathetic piece of shit.  Sorry, I’m hungover.  Forgives?  Yay!  (cracked)

11 years ago a newspaper printed an article stating that James Cameron’s Avatar would never get made.  Lo and behold, a decade later, the film gets made and Cameron has the author of the article murdered.  (comedycentral)

Green lantern 2 a go!  Because the first one was so good.  Oh, it hasn’t been released yet?  Huh.  No idea why you’re losing money, Hollywood.  (theplaylist)

Hey, you’re a limp-dick loser with no friends, right?  Well you’re gonna love this list of every sci-fi reference Futurama made in it’s run.  And when you’re done reading it you can get back to doing absolutely nothing!  (ugo)

I like my 90s cable access hip-hop like I like my women: shitty.  With big jugs and an affinity for oral.  And Michael Jackson samples.  (manofest)

I’ve always heard two heads are better than one, but this is ridiculous!  Haha, animals born with two heads are funny.  (asylum)

Your favorite Marvel characters, Mega Man-style.  No, really.  Seriously.  Click it and see.  (geekosystem)

Had any nightmares lately?  No?  Well why don’t you check out Die Antwoord’s site and then get back to me.  Love these dudes though, seriously.  (dieantwoord)

Louie C.K. rules.  But you know that already.  Watch his show.  (youtube)

In honor of shark week, the best…shark fights…in comics?  Sure, why not.  (comicsalliance)

Yes Justin Bieber is annoying, sexually ambiguous white trash – but ultimately he’s harmless.  Therefore, this video of him getting nailed by a water bottle at one of his concerts is fucking hilarious.  It’s so sad that literally a second prior to getting pegged he says, “I love you guys”.  Hahahahaha.  (youtube)

Local news is one of my favorite things to read about on the ‘net or in the paper, even when it’s not my locale.  Guy got caught masturbating in a park with an armless mannequin.  Don’t worry though, Ben only got probation.  (wsaz)

As a child, I was always checking out books on optical illusions from the library.  However as an adult, my interest turned mainly towards pornography.  (coedmagazine)

I kind of hope UFOs do actually exist so, when I encounter an alien, I can punch him in the face and say, “Welcome to Earf!”  It’s gonna be awesome.  (cracked)

Let me see if I get the story straight: flight attendant, upset over the way he was being treated by a passenger, calls said passenger an asshole and shoves him down, grabs some beers from the drink cart, and then escapes by deploying the emergency evacuation slide and sliding off to freedom?  Give that man a raise; I have a new hero.  (cnn)

12 best portrayals of movie white trash.  #13, Dr. Jose’s family home movies.  (screenjunkies)

And lastly, Sharpie has created a new implement that writes like a pen, erases like a pencil and becomes permanent after 3 days like it’s classic archetype.  FINALLY.  All this time I’ve been using 3 separate writing utensils like some hayseed.  (dvice)

If you wanna preview the new unsexy Wonder Woman comic, be my guest.  (chicagofree)

Satanism has given us so much cool stuff, from heavy metal to horror films…don’t you think you owe it to Satanism to take a look back on it’s wonderful history?  (asylum)

Attention art nerds and anyone named Ben Spencer: here’s a gallery of Shigeru Komatsuzaki’s work from the 1960’s and 1970’s.  Commence creaming!  (pinktentacle)

This dog can fetch beer, which is why once again dogs rule and cats…well, they’re assholes.(comedy)

Speaking of assholes: Mel Gibson is an asshole.  Oh, and his racism has sparked a new internet meme.  (filmdrunk)

6 classics despised by the people who created them.  My parents could say the same thing about me.  (cracked)

Top 50 Mortal Kombet characters.  Holy shit, there’s more than 15?  (ugo)

“I thought I was looking at my mother’s old douchebag, but that’s in Ohio.”  (founditemclothing)

Top 10 All-American video games, which is the only thing I look for when choosing one.  (askmen)

This weekend was the 4th of July, so you know what that means: fireworks and competitive eating.  (guyism)

Speaking of eating obscene amounts of food, here’s a heartattack pizza with extra stupid.  (pbh3)

I’ve always thought the Hunter S. Thompson quote, “Too weird to live, too rare to die” always applied to me, but I never knew how to convey that to others.  But now I can do so easily with this t-shirt.  (vigtees)

Tipper Gore was all ‘parental advisory’ back in the mid-80’s, but I think it’s because she just didn’t like 2 Live Crew, Ice-T, and GNR.  Otherwise, she would have slapped a Tipper Sticker on these gems from the 1930’s.  Sidenote: anyone ever notice that Ice-T’s name is Ice-T.  (iheartchaos)

Ever notice how the stupidest, most time-wasting things are usually the most entertaining?  I present you with the “Top 5 slow-motion video game deaths”.  Exactly.  (unrealitymag)

Why hasn’t there been a fitting Bruce Willis internet video tribute until now?  I really don’t know.  But quit asking questions and just watch.  (nextround)

We had a great time at the latest opening at the Rotofugi Gallery, Strange Powers: New Work by Ryan Heshka.  Ryan’s work was outstanding, the music (courtesy of DJ Genghis Won) was awesome, and everyone had an all around great time.  Ryan has a super cool style that is heavily influenced by pulpy sci-fi and comics that could be a really great gateway to gallery art for more comic book-centric collectors.  I also found this show particularly cool because he also offered for sale his initial sketches , along with the finished pieces. Not only were these sketches cool on their own, but they also gave an insight into the artist’s creative process, which you don’t always necessarily get at a gallery opening like this.

Pics:

There still a few of the pieces from this show available for purchase.  If you see something that you like, head over here now!

Finally, for more from Ryan Heshka, check out his official site here.

Direct Link to Youtube Video
From the “old news, but better late than never” dept. come a couple trailers and some other random links.  First, we have the Hobo with a Shotgun trailer, which was originally a SXSW Robert Rodriguez Grindhouse Trailer contest winner but has now actually been picked up by a major studio and is currently filming with Rutger Hauer in the titular role.  So, congrats to them, or whatevs.  We follow that up with the recently leaked Super 8 trailer, the new sci-fi (?) flick from J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg.  Abrams and Spielberg?  Yeesh.  More like Hecher Acht, am I right?  Right?  It’s Yiddish.  Forget it.  Now for some random links.  Enjoy.  (Or should I say “enjew“, right?  Right?!)

Direct Link to Youtube Video

Kick-Ass sequels of the pulp and celluloid kind?  It’s true.  (gammasquad.com)

Classic pulp horror comic covers.  No fruity dudes in capes here, thank you much.  (gunaxin.com)

Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig in a comic about their gay romance?  Sure, why not.  (comicsalliance.com)

Rusty Nails, the hardest working man in horrorbusiness, is at it again.  This Saturday marks Nails’ fourth Sci-Fi & Horror Spectacular, a out of this world filmfest for the Bradbury and Harryhausen in us all.  And seeing as it’ll be another 6 months before Nails’ next Music Box Massacre (my personal favorite), it’d be in your best, giant-insect to big-brother interest to go see what Rusty has in store this weekend.  From Rusty himself:

Movieside & Music Box Theatre Present:

Sci-Fi & Horror Spectacular 4!

Special Guest & Master of Horror: Larry Cohen
(It’s Alive, Q, The Stuff, God Told Me To)

April 10, 2010/Noon ’til 2am.

Over 14 hours of Sci-Fi and Horror Madness!

Music Box Theatre
3733 N. Southport Ave.,
Chicago, IL
1.773.871.6604

Tickets are $20 presale – $24 day of the show.
Buy now and save!

Pre-Sale Tickets Now Available at:

Music Box Theatre (3733 N. Southport Ave., Chicago, IL)
After Hours Movie Rentals (915 Foster Street, Evanston, IL)
Laurie’s Planet of Sound (4639 N. Lincoln, Chicago IL) 
www.brownpapertickets.com

Doors open at 11am – come early and shop at 
the vending tables.

Special Trailer Trash session at 11:30am:
Half an Hour of Horror, Sci-Fi and Hilarious Trailers…
come early melt your mind with this added treat!

Current line up of films:

Noon - Them – 1954 – (Giant Killer Ants!)
2pm - Planet of the Vampires – (Mario Bava) – Rare Screening!
3:30pm - Dark Star - (John Carpenter!)
5:15pm - Flash Gordon – (80’s Craziness!)
7:30 - Q the Winged Serpent – (with Master of Horror
Larry Cohen live in Person!) – Rare Screening!
10pm - Lifeforce – (Tobe Hooper!)
Midnight - They Live – (John Carpenter!)

Plus – Prizes, Surprises, Special Guests, an auction for
Vital Bridges, Vintage Trailers and much more!

Pay once and come and go as you like!

Films and Guests may be subject to change. No refunds.

With the recent expansion of the best picture category, this year’s Academy Awards have made room for normally-ignored Nerd properties to make a big impact on the Oscars. Announced nominees include two sci-fi films (Avatar, District 9), a cartoon (Up), and uber-film nerd Quentin Tarantino’s latest opus (Inglourious Basterds).

Seriously. This is as Nerdy as the Oscars get. But don’t worry, there’s still plenty of opportunity for shitty choices (The Blind Side), to beat all of them. Besides, there’s only one awards show for me: The Latin Grammys.

As I’ve said in the past, when it comes to modern Japanese designer Kaiju vinyl, there is no brand cooler than RealxHead.  Their figures draw from all aspects of pop culture and have, over the last few years, created a world as odd and amazing as any fantasy/ sci-fi universe, while creating many pieces of high end collectible art.

The third series of Mutant Zone figures from RxH started to trickle out late last year, and over the course of 2009, many of them have been popping up, Stateside.  The general theme of this series has been the combination of a figure from series 1 with a figure from series 2.  Of all of these figures, I’m really loving the Chaos Beast figure.  He’s a combination of the Mutant Chaos

and the Cyclomanion

For anyone who is looking to learn more about the wacky/badass world of RealxHead, I would highly recommend that you check out this section of the Skullbrain message boards.

Also, many of these images are borrowed from Rotofugi, where they have lots of RxH available.  Check them out here.