Oh, Pee-Wee.  I don’t care how many kids you molested or murdered or whatever it is you were convicted of so long ago.  You still hold a special place in my heart.  Go enjoy Sturgis!  (funnyordie)

Death Comes to Town premiered this weekend, but I didn’t get to see it because I don’t have IFC.  What, do I look like some kind of millionaire?  (warmingglow)

Vintage food from the 70s.  A time when bacon could be put in a toaster (?) and baby food somehow looked more disgusting than it ever has.  (davescupboard)

The new Gervais/Merchant show Life’s Too Short may eventually head to theatres, but only if Warwick Davis can fit it into his busy schedule between making terrible Leprechaun movies.  (guardian)

Speaking of Gervais/Merchant, the Glimmer Twins of Guffaws (I’m still working on that), here is a new teaser from their show An Idiot Abroad, starring everyone’s favorite melon-headed dope, Karl Pilkington.  (youtube)

I was never a Green Lantern reader so I don’t anything pertaining to him or his backstory, but here are a shitload of pics for 17 “new Green Lanterns”, whatever that means.  They look awesome.  Maybe I should catch up on the comic?  Naw, I think I’ll just watch T.V. instead.  (gammasquad)

What do you get when you cross Mexicans and zombies?  No, not Muerte de Dios, smartypants! You get Juan of the Dead.  It’s set in Cuba?  Why should I care?  Oh, because I said Mexicans earlier.  But they’re the same thing, right?  (gammasquad)

James Cameron was on G4 to show off and discuss the 3D camera he used to film Avatar, which is actually called a “mini beam splitter rig”, and is set up inverted to be…ZZZZZZ.  (g4tv)

If T.V. shows were Choose Your Own Adventure books.  Oh, Photoshop.  You know just how to waste someone’s life.  (warmingglow)

5 insane fan art fetishes.  I don’t know why superfans have to be such weird fucks, but they are.  Furries, fatties, preggers, gender-confusion: it’s all here, and involving all your favorite animated characters like Buzz Lightyear, Woody…hell, even Link from Zelda.  (gunaxin)

In honor of America’s greatest pasttime: the 30 greatest onstage falls.  (ranker)

Movie icons as cutesy, minimalist characters.  Somebody mold these and sell ‘em!  You’ll make a fortune.  (thehighdefinite)

On episode 92 of the Nerd City podcast, our guest and good friend, Anthony LeBlanc, told us about an internet series wherein nerdy porn stars sat around playing some legit D&D.  No nudity, no nothing.  Just some hardcore gaming.  I don’t know why I never posted the videos, but here they are now.  They’re totally SFW, but I must warn you: you will either be bored out of your mind OR you’ll fall in love with them even more.  Kimberly Kane are you single?  (videogum)

“TRON-Sutra”.  Because, why not?  (wonderhowto)

5 inventions you won’t believe came from war.  Nylon stockings, really?  My boner thanks you, World War II.  (cracked)

Awesome: some dude in Portland covered the bike lanes with Mario Kart-inspired graffiti.  Was it our own “Key West” Ken Bowman?  I doubt it, though he does play a mean ‘Kart.  (gammasquad)

Make masturbation a sport!  If this were an event and I were a player, I’d beat all who came against me.  Why is everyone laughing?  (ipetitions)

12 heaviest drinkers in T.V.  Give Nerd City it’s own show and that list is going to swell.  (guyism)

Ninja-shaped cookie cutters for the adventurous kids out there.  Just be careful of them triads, man.  If they could get Bruce, they can get you, too.  (perpetualkid)

Sci-fi ink cartridge art.  Now that’s what I call recycling!  (buzzfeed)

And lastly, I reported on Cee-Lo’s song the day it came out and to no one’s surprise, it has blown up; it’s on everyone’s lips and radar.  Well someone had the clever idea to pair it with classic music-related scenes from a couple movies.  I’ll be honest, I chuckled watching Lloyd Dobbler stand stoically while his boombox blasted “Fuck You”.  (dallasobserver)

¡Hola y coja a su madres!  Welcome to Mish Mash, conchas!

Not as comprehensive as I’d have liked, but this “Where are they now?  Teen Edition” will have to suffice for the time being.  Oh, Deborah Foreman.  Rawr. (pajiba)

Hahaha, this is great.  I thought I was pretty good at turning innocent things vulgar and sexual, but these people are PROS.  Check out how they pervert the titles of these children’s books.  (onceuponatitle)

Awesome!  Classic comic book ads.  Y’know, the kind advertising x-ray specs and trick gum and automatic weapons.  As a young child, I would often ask my father for money to buy some of these things.  He would only hang his head and say, “Hijo, soy decepciono.”  (egotv)

Making a list of the top 50 music videos of the 90s is a pretty tall order, but those pillow-biting dweebs at Pitchfork seem to have gotten a handle on it.  Let’s take a moment to reminisce, shall we?  (pitchfork)

I’d explain this site, “The History of Hip-Hop”, but I’d hate to sound redundant.  (itstherub)

Here’s 4 minutes of My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done?, the new film by Werner Herzog and David Lynch.  No, it’s totally normal — why do you ask?  (filmdrunk)

9 beloved characters made horrifying by Japan.  You’re telling me Japan took something innocent, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and somehow made them extremely creepy?  Get right outta town!  (cracked)

Rappers often rap about cities.  Because if there’s one thing they love more than guns, drugs, and prostitutes, it’s municipalities.  Here is a city locator (map, if you will) of cities and areas mentioned in rap songs.  (rapgenius)

7 crazy conspiracy theories.  Stephen King shot John Lennon?  Yeah, I could see that.  (oddee)

5 most horrifying crimes committed by senior citizens.  The greatest crime of all?  Being so soft and cuddly.  (cracked)

13 greatest pets in video game history.  If there is a humdrum list that has yet to be made, Ranker is on it!  (ranker)

Top 10 franchise destroying moments.  I’m on the fence about most of these, but we’re completely harmonious on their choice of Tobey MacGuire dancing like a fucking idiot in Spiderman 3.  (askmen)

6 movie heroes who actually made things worse.  I really liked this article.  It’s thought-provoking, which might be a little much for our audience.  But group the words together and form those sentences!  It’s a good read!  (cracked)

How to “dick-knob” someone.  Trust me, if you don’t know what it is…it’s not going to be whatever you think it is.  (explosm)

Pictures of Japanese women before they put on their make-up.  Oh, and after, too.  All I gots to say is 日本語!  (thechive)

Alternate endings to 10 popular movies.  Look, I don’t care what you do, just don’t ever touch my precious Titanic.  You mean Titanic had an alternate ending too??  What is this world coming to!  (unrealitymag)

This wouldn’t have flown back in Johnny’s era, but here is a Cash/Eazy-E mash-up.  See, John was more of an Ice Cube type.  Nothing personal.  (viprhealthcare)

Trombone playing geek who never gets laid decides to convert said trombone into a flamethrower.  This kid’s been watching too many Robert Rodriguez films.  (youtube)

Here’s your Street Fighter II gif for the week.  Enjoy.  (bannedinhollywood)

Some Koopa-esque turtle fossils were recently discovered, and they’re pretty terrifying.  11 feet long and 7 feet wide?  No thanks.  I like the type of turtles you keep in a box in your bedroom and feed in the bathroom sink at dinnertime.  (wired)

Awesome!  Gun-shaped popsicles!  Mmm, tastes bullety.  (geekologie)

7 famous works of art with bizarre mistakes you can’t unsee.  I got nothin’ for this one.  Do I have to be witty all the time??  Oh, I do? Well I’m so sorry.  Geez.  But it’s a pretty funny article.  (cracked)

AND LASTLY, a 9-day traffic jam has occurred in China.  Talk about being late for work! Ba-doom-ch!  ”Sorry Boss, I won’t be in today.  I’m stuck in traffic!”  I mean, I’ve heard of traffic jams, but this is more of a traffic preserve! Boy, I sure do love Chinese traffic humor.  (yahoo)

Hello intertubes. I present to you, Nerd City’s first ever “Comic Books You Should be Reading” by Max Minor. In no particular order:

1. Tales Designed to Thrizzle

Written by comic (no pun intended) genius Michael Kupperman (who also contributed to the kick-ass Marvel Strange Tales anthology), “Tales Designed to Thrizzle” is hilarious, with a sort of “Red Meat” meets Mad Magazine vibe. Featuring riotous fake ads, and strips like “Snake and Bacon”, TDTT is subversive, twisted and awesome.

With the” can comic books be funny?” debate ever-raging, “Tales Designed to Thrizzle” answers a glorious “Yes!”

2. Breathers

Perhaps unknown to our coastal Nerd brethren, “Breathers” by Wisconsinite Justin Madson, is one of the best written, most unique independent comic books I have ever read. With haunting art and an intriguing, conspiracy-driven plot, “Breathers” tells the tale of an American society forced to wear masks outdoors, as a mysterious virus plagues the air…or is it all a hoax? Told in inter-locking vignettes, “Breathers” is interesting and intelligent, and reasonably local, which is bad-ass.

With a “Breathers” film in the works, and the next issue concluding the series, this is a great time to discover this book before your stupid friends do.

3. Four Eyes

Written by Joe Kelly (most recently of “I Kill Giants Fame”) with art by Max Fiumara, (my name is Max!) ‘Four Eyes” is the story of a boy thrown in to the dangerous world of dragons fighting for money in Depression-era New York, and it is as awesome as it sounds. I actually heard about the book @ the Image panel during  San Diego Comic Con, and after checking it out, I was super impressed. Dragons as subject matter is always a bit delicate, but Kelly and co. nails it. Atmospheric, and well-written, “Four Eyes” is a welcome respite from the capes and tights scene.

So yeah…there it is, the first ever “Comics You Should be Reading” by Max Minor.

Get all of them, yes, all of them @ the universe’s greatest comic book store: Chicago Comics.

Karl Urban has been confirmed as the new Judge Dredd.  No word on if Rob Schneider will return.  (empireonline)

7 most horrifying museums on earth.  Thank you for the nightmare material.  That’ll be all for today.  (cracked)

This is a 10 minute video of gameplay from Team Fortress 2, documenting one of the online players freaking out.  At the 3 minute mark, he’s already managed to fire off 100 “fucks”, amongst other bizarre and hilarious banter.  It’s hard to decide what’s funnier: the words he keeps making up or the fact that he plays like someone who has never played the game before.  (kotaku)

“Look at me, Damien! It’s all for you.”  [jumps off roof, hangs self].  Seriously, check this kid’s scalp for numbers.  I think Joel Silver just died and inhabited the body of an 11-year-old.  (todaysbigthing)

A new Terminator movie!  A new 3D, animated, PG-13 Terminator movie!  Great.  (gammasquad)

We all wish our lives had soundtracks (…don’t we?), and this list provides the perfect songs for the perfect moments of your life.  Like, for example, when you’re traveling through time.  (thesmokingjacket)

Is Mad Men the new Saved By the Bell?  Yes.  Yes, it is.  (thesmokingjacket)

Some dad stole his sons videogames and sold ‘em for drugs.  But to be fair, the kid did break a lamp running through the house.  (withleather)

The health benefits of bacon, an inforgraphic.  (medicalbillingschool)

America’s best ice cream shops, you say?  Okay, I’m listening…  (yahoo)

6 amazingly high-tech anicient weapons.  Turns out the Greeks invented the light saber.  Jay kay!  (cracked)

The top 1o worst Bear Grylls meals.  #1 is probably who cares.  (askmen)

WARNING: these scarification pictures are fairly graphic and something you would see in a Clive Barker novel.  But since a majority of them are geek-themed, I included ‘em.  Don’t say you have been warned.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat a big bowl of spaghetti with extra sauce.  (holytaco)

Funny sign juxtapositions.  C’mon, you’re telling me the landscapers weren’t aware of what they were doing?!  (uproxx)

Comic Book University.  An imaginary world filled with all the classic characters and twice the sexual promiscuity.  (collegehumor)

What America loves!  Strangely absent from the list: xenophobia, bad news, ieverything, complaining, and ridiculously fatty foods.  (yahoo)

Please don’t beat me up, please don’t beat me up… The 20 most effeminate photos of The Expendables cast… please don’t beat me up! (manofest)

8 most badass plants in video games.  Personally, I think the perennial sowthistle, or Sonchus arvensis L., native to these Illinoisan parts, is pretty badass myself.  But what do I know?  I’m just a good ol’ country boy.  (ranker)

50 scariest movies of all-time.  Finally, a list I can get behind!  #1?  One Night in Paris.  (complex)

So the Improv Everywhere crew pulled some more hilarious public stunts, this time including grafitti.  Look, I don’t mean to sound bitter here, but I did this exact same thing 8 years ago — a time before it was “the thing” to film yourself and post it all over the internet for cheap, instant gratification — and I’m proud to say my little stunt made the front page of the local paper.  I can’t tell you how many “views” that equals out to, but I’d say at least 60,000.  So suck my dick, Improv Everywhere.  And suck my dick doubly, internet.  (urlesque)

A list of each star from The Expendables, and his best and worst role.  (screenjunkies)

7 terrible pizza innovations.  Oh come on, nothing can ruin a pi–holy fucking shit.  (holytaco)

A cat in a bathtub full of beanbag stuffing.  Awwwwww, it’s so cute when he eats it!  (youtube)

Some authentic mugshots from the 40s and 50s, and the stories behind them.  It’s like a Richard Stark novel…only real!  (smalltownnoir)

And lastly, “The Gathering” (of the Juggalos) was this weekend, not too far from where I grew up, and apparently all hell broke loose (gee, really?)  One guy got stabbed; but shockingly that’s not the big news: Tila Tequila, known for being a vapid waste of space, was pelted with rocks and (literal) shit when she took the stage.  And documenting it all?  Tom Green, of course.  (thedailywhat)

Voted People’s Sexiest Man Alive 1987.  Happy Friday the 13th, geeks!

A list of everyone Jason ever killed and how.  That’s 148 casualties.  I’d imagine it’d be hard to stay so creative when dispatching of horny, drunken, half-clad teens…but Jason never fails.  He’s like the Martha Stewart of mass murder.  (listafterlist)

Jason’s 10 best kills.  It’s hard to whittle it down to just 10.  But this list covers some more memorable deaths.  But if you’d prefer to watch the kills…  (imockery)

How about a video of Jason’s 13 best kills?  And look at that nice, round number (for you superstitious types).  Again, hard to cut it down from 148.  But hey, some had to get the ax.  Oh, horror movie puns.  You slay me!  (youtube)

And who can forget Jason on Arsenio Hall?  Classic!  Things that make you go “Hmm”.  (youtube)

Ah, Adult Swim — you know just the way to my heart: a Friday the 13th reference!  (youtube)

A list of all beliefs, ideologies, and old wives tales of a superstitious nature, from A-Z.  It’s extremely unlucky to listen to Janet Jackson’s Black Cat, despite it’s use of cow bell.  Even unluckier still: Rhythm Nation.  (corsinet)

7 unluckiest people who ever lived.  See the theme I’m going for here?  Friday the 13th, unlucky?  Ah, forget it.  Why do I even bothers with you rubes?  (cracked)

Though there are no “guys” nor “sports” (sorry, Max) to be found on this misleadingly-named website, they do have an awesome and lengthy list of Friday the 13th related trivia.  Definitely worth a look, even if you’re only in it for the guys and/or sports.  (guy-sports)

6 insane, true stories behind cursed movies.  Similar to the Nerd City curse, where everyone says they’re not going to drink yet end up getting hammered.  It’s a terrible, terrible, delicious curse.  (cracked)

At this point I’m going to drift away from the superstitious themed stuff and get back to “the news”: here’s that sex toy infographic that you requested, Mr. Spencer.  Mississippi buys more anal toys than any other state?  Way to go, Mississippi!  (theirtoys)

Drinking etiquette whilst flying.  Do what Nerd City does: bloody marys during the A.M. flights and bloody marys during the P.M. flights.  (thesmokingjacket)

Some wacky dude sings karaoke to a Carrie Underwood song.  I really don’t see what’s so wei– Goddamn, this dude is nuts.  (collegehumor)

Much to my surprise, this chart about 80s sitcom doors wasn’t constructed by our own “Key West” Ken Bowman.  (buzzfeed)

Denny’s will not be outdone by any other establishment that thinks they can create the most sickening, fat-laden and ridiculously unnecessary fast food.  Denny’s will be king! (consumerist)

I’d love to make some witty remark about the 10 best movie parodies from Adult Swim, but my T.V. is so loud right now, my head feels like it’s being split.  I’ll BRB.  (adultswim)

And I’m back!  Now, like I was saying, The Fairly Oddparents is being made into a live-action movie (of course it is), and here are the first shots.  Jason Alexander looks like an Oompa Loompa with Progeria.  Sorry, but he does.  (buzzfeed)

6 insane attempts to film movies starring dead actors.  Because why let someone die with dignity when you can continue to milk their corpse for the big bucks!  (cracked)

And lastly, on the topic of dignity, here we’re presented with the most respectful Jesus-related products.  Jesus beer?  Mmm, tastes martyry.  (supertremendous)

Jesus, is it still Shark Week?  In that case, do what every shark fetishist wishes they could do and sharkify yourself!  (buzzfeed)

Is it just me or is it feeling extra 1993 in here?  Quantum Leap movie, you say?  Bring on the Bakula!  (blastr)

6 scientific reasons break-ups suck worse than you think.  As if the mere thought of your ex getting plowed by another dude wasn’t enough.  (cracked)

Now all your fantasies of Princess Peach won’t seem as weird because here she is, drawn up as a classic Vargas style pin-up.  Oh, about the 8-bit head…yeah, I guess that makes it weird still.  (kotaku)

From the “gimme a fucking break” dept.: Todd Phillips, the charlatan of cinema, has opted a John Belushi biopic, because that’s EXACTLY what we need.  Look, the funniest film Phillips made was Hated: GG Allin and the Murder Junkies.  If you wanna know about John Belushi, just buy one of those awful “Best of SNL” DVDs.  But, if you insist on making a movie, at least cast Tyler Labine.  If he gets rid of that ridiculous Syndrome hairstyle, he’d be a perfect fit.  Don’t be a bunch of dummies and hire Jonah Hill or Seth Rogen, please.  I beg of you.  (filmdrunk)

Gaspar Noé, master of shocking cinema, is finally seeing a wide-release date for his 2009 film, Into the Void.  I’ve always been a huge Noé fan, and this new trailer looks like his unique style has only gotten better and more fine-tuned.  One can only hope the film carries as much rape and child molestation as his previous work.  (youtube)

Max Landis, John’s son, has written a new film about some kids who develop super powers — but the twist? — it’s shot in a handheld, first-person style ala Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield.  No word yet on the title, though I’m hoping it’s gonna be See You Next Wednesday.  (heatvision)

The best part of waking up, is Asian Palm Civet shit in your cup.  (thechive)

This is an awesome and comprehensive list of movie-related infographics.  Y’know, like piecharts and shit.  I like it because there are pictures that go along with the words.  (abduzeedo)

Inspired by the internet video freakout last week involving McNuggets, here we have the 11 best fast-food freakouts caught on tape.  If you look close, you can see Max throwing a fit at an Arby’s.  He really loves those seasoned curly fries.  (brobible)

Reading the synopsis of this page, (“a beer popsicle”), I wasn’t too impressed.  Hell, I’ve left beers in the freezer too long.  But upon closer inspection…Tecate, lime juice, simple syrup and a splash of tequila…whoa.  They should sell these from ice cream trucks.  (urbandaddy)

America’s greatest pasttime isn’t baseball; it’s laughing our asses off when sports announcers say weird shit.  (bleacherreport)

Here are those interesting sex facts you requested, Mr. Spencer.  Woo-hoo, let’s hear it for Chicago (city with the shortest sex sessions)!!  (lateformass)

Imagine if Predator had a teenage son.  What a nightmare, ammirite?  (collegehumor)

Jason Schwartzman and Michael Cera do the weather on Good Day Atlanta, a Fox News affiliate.  It’s actually very funny.  About as funny as the news that comes out of Fox.  (buzzfeed)

8 greatest hot chick internet hoaxes.  You had me at “hot chick”.  (ranker)

And lastly, if you look to the skies tonight, you’ll be front row for a beautiful meteor shower.  And if you look in through my apartment windows tonight, you’ll be front row for a beautiful golden shower.  (yahoo)

Get them away from the water!  They’re multiplying!

Finally, the mystery of the Rubik’s Cube has been solved: it takes no more than 20 moves to rectify, no matter how jumbled it is.  But how many moves until someone who still plays with a Rubik’s Cube loses his virginity?  The world may never know.  (bbc)

This is an awesome elevator hack wherein you can bypass all the floors, and go straight to the one you want.  And to get back down even quicker?  Just cut them cables.  (iambored)

Cancer may still exist, but at least scientists have figured out that iPhone users have the most sex partners, compared to other electronic phone devices.  Thanks, science!  (mashable)

Jeffrey Jacob Abrams (“J.J.” to his friends) is at it again with the cryptic, viral marketing – this time for his new flick, Super 8.  Now, this is the same guy who wrote Taking Care of Business and Gone Fishin’, so perhaps, you know, we shouldn’t give him too much credit when it comes to being clever?  (iwatchstuff)

Turns out that cute girl bitch who quit her job via dry erase board was all a hoax.  Bitch.  (boingboing)

If you were at the SDCC this year, chances are you saw a really out of shape Batman standing by one of the entrances.  Nerd City saw (and mocked) this corpulent Caped Crusader but, then again, how could you miss him?  Turns out he’s made some funny videos.  (uproxx)

Several years ago I walked into a (then) brand new cereal-themed food chain called “Cereality”.  My mind was blown; cereal is very important to me – one of my 5 major food groups.  And it was there that my dream of eating a bowl of “just the marshmallows” became a reality.  A ‘cereality’ I guess you could say.  I was so eager to show my appreciation that I even applied for a job there.  They didn’t hire me, but I forgave them.  Not surprisingly, they’ve since closed — what do you expect when you sell overpriced cereal out of a Chinese takeout container?  However, if you still want to enjoy the childhood dream of a “just marshmallows” cereal without having to pick through endless boxes of Count Chocula and Lucky Charms, you can order some right here:  (thesmokingjacket)

6 movie plots that could have been solved in minutes.  Star Wars?  Don’t ever watch it.  How’s that for solving a problem?  (cracked)

Speaking of the most overhyped movie of all-time, here are some Star Wars cakes for all you fatfucks.  (weburbanist)

Some dude lets a stray baseball nail his girlfriend at an Astro’s game.  To be fair though, he’s an Astro’s fan so he probably isn’t that smart.  And she’s dating him, so she’s even more stupid.  Oooooh, take that BITCHES! (totalprosports)

Some guy sings your favorite childhood themes, a cappella.  Look, I hate to harp on such a cool idea that has been executed almost flawlessly, but if you’re going to go to the trouble of recording all those separate a cappella tracks, tuning them, layering them, dubbing what needs to be dubbed — not to mention doing several songs this way — wouldn’t you first make sure you’re singing the right lyrics??!?! It drives me CRAZY every time I hear this dude say “gunshoes” instead of “gumshoes” during the Chip and Dale theme song.  What the fuck is a “gunshoe”, dude????  (unrealitymag)

And lastly, to describe this video as “guy tries to chug tequila and pukes” simply isn’t doing it justice.  There is so much at play in this epic video, it’s like an I Spy book; I find something new to laugh about every time I watch it.  Unnecessarily loud and violent noises?  Check.  Truly loyal girlfriend who holds open a trash bag while repeatedly being sprayed with vomit?  Check.  Home garage that for some reason looks like a public garage?  Check.  Guy puking on only handicapped spot in said ‘garage’?  Check.  Watch this with someone you love.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  (nothingtoxic)

5 real historical Death Stars, for those of you who need your history likened to George Lucas properties to make them easier to comprehend because you’re such a shut in and braindead loser virgin that you can’t understand anything pertaining to reality, even in the slightest.  You pathetic piece of shit.  Sorry, I’m hungover.  Forgives?  Yay!  (cracked)

11 years ago a newspaper printed an article stating that James Cameron’s Avatar would never get made.  Lo and behold, a decade later, the film gets made and Cameron has the author of the article murdered.  (comedycentral)

Green lantern 2 a go!  Because the first one was so good.  Oh, it hasn’t been released yet?  Huh.  No idea why you’re losing money, Hollywood.  (theplaylist)

Hey, you’re a limp-dick loser with no friends, right?  Well you’re gonna love this list of every sci-fi reference Futurama made in it’s run.  And when you’re done reading it you can get back to doing absolutely nothing!  (ugo)

I like my 90s cable access hip-hop like I like my women: shitty.  With big jugs and an affinity for oral.  And Michael Jackson samples.  (manofest)

I’ve always heard two heads are better than one, but this is ridiculous!  Haha, animals born with two heads are funny.  (asylum)

Your favorite Marvel characters, Mega Man-style.  No, really.  Seriously.  Click it and see.  (geekosystem)

Had any nightmares lately?  No?  Well why don’t you check out Die Antwoord’s site and then get back to me.  Love these dudes though, seriously.  (dieantwoord)

Louie C.K. rules.  But you know that already.  Watch his show.  (youtube)

In honor of shark week, the best…shark fights…in comics?  Sure, why not.  (comicsalliance)

Yes Justin Bieber is annoying, sexually ambiguous white trash – but ultimately he’s harmless.  Therefore, this video of him getting nailed by a water bottle at one of his concerts is fucking hilarious.  It’s so sad that literally a second prior to getting pegged he says, “I love you guys”.  Hahahahaha.  (youtube)

Local news is one of my favorite things to read about on the ‘net or in the paper, even when it’s not my locale.  Guy got caught masturbating in a park with an armless mannequin.  Don’t worry though, Ben only got probation.  (wsaz)

As a child, I was always checking out books on optical illusions from the library.  However as an adult, my interest turned mainly towards pornography.  (coedmagazine)

I kind of hope UFOs do actually exist so, when I encounter an alien, I can punch him in the face and say, “Welcome to Earf!”  It’s gonna be awesome.  (cracked)

Let me see if I get the story straight: flight attendant, upset over the way he was being treated by a passenger, calls said passenger an asshole and shoves him down, grabs some beers from the drink cart, and then escapes by deploying the emergency evacuation slide and sliding off to freedom?  Give that man a raise; I have a new hero.  (cnn)

12 best portrayals of movie white trash.  #13, Dr. Jose’s family home movies.  (screenjunkies)

And lastly, Sharpie has created a new implement that writes like a pen, erases like a pencil and becomes permanent after 3 days like it’s classic archetype.  FINALLY.  All this time I’ve been using 3 separate writing utensils like some hayseed.  (dvice)

If there is one movie that actually deserves to utilize the third dimension, it’s Jackass 3D.  I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl.  Seriously, feel these nipples!  (youtube)

Yet more marketing for Scott Pilgrim.  I bet they haven’t even filmed the movie yet.  They’re stalling!  Bet they’re just trying to buy some time.  (geekosystem)

Ah, the days when cartoons we’re subtly vulgar; their innuendoes flying over our immature brains but shocking and titillating our parents.  I miss those days, mostly because now I get the jokes and I wanna see more.  (cracked)

5 comic books you’re not too cool to love.  I don’t get it – one can be too cool to love a comic book?  (smokingsection)

It’s been 25 years since Weird Science and Real Genius came out, both landing in theaters August of ‘85.  So which one is better?  Who cares — can you believe it’s been a quarter of a century since they came out??!  Ho-lee shit.  (insidemovies)

Darth Schwarzenegger has been making it’s rounds on the intertubes, so I thought I’d share it here.  It’s like those Schwarzenegger prank calls that were so popular several years ago, only you’re able to watch it instead of just hear it.  Pretty funny stuff.  (youtube)

It’s Key West Ken Bowman’s birthday today, and in honor of our lost-at-sea correspondent I present you with: The all-time worst TV theme songs.  (pajiba)

This, too, has been making it’s rounds: Pulp Disney.  The concept is dumb, and it takes a second before you realize how funny it is.  But when you do…it’s funny.  (youtube)

Mish Mash is back in full effect!  Engage!

Sometimes people on the internet leave comments on message boards.  Most of the time, these people are idiots.  And sometimes, those message boards pertain to the Batman #1 comic book.  This is the genius that ensues.  (comicsalliance)

The 6 greatest things ever accomplished by a dead body.  Like keep releasing albums, isn’t that right Rolling Stones? (cracked)

Even though I’ve never followed baseball, I collected the cards when I was a kid.  Sadly, my collection does not contain any of these gems.  (manofest)

Will Ferrell’s promo video for his new film The Other Guys, in character, via Funny Or Die.  It’s like if Steve Brule and Ron Burgundy had a baby.  It’s kinda funny but mostly mundane, and you’ve seen those idiosyncrasies a million times before.  (filmdrunk)

Oh, Paul Rudd.  You’re so…dreamy.  I mean cool!  Cool.  You’re so cool.  If only I were a little Jewish girl.  (buzzfeed)

I call total bullshit, but the rumor is that QT could be directing The Shadow reboot.  Yeah, that Shadow.  (pajiba)

Mage movie coming.  Because why write new ideas when you can just use a comic book that’s already been written, isn’t that right, Hollywood? (variety)

Movie-based comic books that never were, but should have been.  Seriously, how awesome would a Heathers comic book be?  I love my dead, gay son! (smoothnnatural)

From my favorite Honoluluan news channel website feed: don’t fuck with Hawaiian gamers.  (khon2)

Even though I’ve never followed basketball, I still admire the shoes.  Hell, you won’t find a finer pair of footwear than a Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star.  Don’t believe me?  Just look at my feet.  (totalprosports)

O’, newspaper blunders.  How I love and hate thee.  So very hilarious.  And yet, you built Jay Leno’s empire.  (manofest)

If you think you’ve had a couple bad yearbook photos, you’ll find solace in this magical website, where everyone’s photo is so much more worse than your worst one ever was.  (badyearbookphotos)

The drollery that comes from pairing Kanye Wests tweets with New Yorker cartoons borders on brilliant.  But don’t tell Kanye that.  Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not tell Kanye that.  (buzzfeed)