Hello intertubes. I present to you, Nerd City’s first ever “Comic Books You Should be Reading” by Max Minor. In no particular order:

1. Tales Designed to Thrizzle

Written by comic (no pun intended) genius Michael Kupperman (who also contributed to the kick-ass Marvel Strange Tales anthology), “Tales Designed to Thrizzle” is hilarious, with a sort of “Red Meat” meets Mad Magazine vibe. Featuring riotous fake ads, and strips like “Snake and Bacon”, TDTT is subversive, twisted and awesome.

With the” can comic books be funny?” debate ever-raging, “Tales Designed to Thrizzle” answers a glorious “Yes!”

2. Breathers

Perhaps unknown to our coastal Nerd brethren, “Breathers” by Wisconsinite Justin Madson, is one of the best written, most unique independent comic books I have ever read. With haunting art and an intriguing, conspiracy-driven plot, “Breathers” tells the tale of an American society forced to wear masks outdoors, as a mysterious virus plagues the air…or is it all a hoax? Told in inter-locking vignettes, “Breathers” is interesting and intelligent, and reasonably local, which is bad-ass.

With a “Breathers” film in the works, and the next issue concluding the series, this is a great time to discover this book before your stupid friends do.

3. Four Eyes

Written by Joe Kelly (most recently of “I Kill Giants Fame”) with art by Max Fiumara, (my name is Max!) ‘Four Eyes” is the story of a boy thrown in to the dangerous world of dragons fighting for money in Depression-era New York, and it is as awesome as it sounds. I actually heard about the book @ the Image panel during  San Diego Comic Con, and after checking it out, I was super impressed. Dragons as subject matter is always a bit delicate, but Kelly and co. nails it. Atmospheric, and well-written, “Four Eyes” is a welcome respite from the capes and tights scene.

So yeah…there it is, the first ever “Comics You Should be Reading” by Max Minor.

Get all of them, yes, all of them @ the universe’s greatest comic book store: Chicago Comics.

If there is one movie that actually deserves to utilize the third dimension, it’s Jackass 3D.  I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl.  Seriously, feel these nipples!  (youtube)

Yet more marketing for Scott Pilgrim.  I bet they haven’t even filmed the movie yet.  They’re stalling!  Bet they’re just trying to buy some time.  (geekosystem)

Ah, the days when cartoons we’re subtly vulgar; their innuendoes flying over our immature brains but shocking and titillating our parents.  I miss those days, mostly because now I get the jokes and I wanna see more.  (cracked)

5 comic books you’re not too cool to love.  I don’t get it – one can be too cool to love a comic book?  (smokingsection)

It’s been 25 years since Weird Science and Real Genius came out, both landing in theaters August of ‘85.  So which one is better?  Who cares — can you believe it’s been a quarter of a century since they came out??!  Ho-lee shit.  (insidemovies)

Darth Schwarzenegger has been making it’s rounds on the intertubes, so I thought I’d share it here.  It’s like those Schwarzenegger prank calls that were so popular several years ago, only you’re able to watch it instead of just hear it.  Pretty funny stuff.  (youtube)

It’s Key West Ken Bowman’s birthday today, and in honor of our lost-at-sea correspondent I present you with: The all-time worst TV theme songs.  (pajiba)

This, too, has been making it’s rounds: Pulp Disney.  The concept is dumb, and it takes a second before you realize how funny it is.  But when you do…it’s funny.  (youtube)

A look at what’s ploppin’ on the internets!

Let’s kick this off the right way: white peoples rappin’ about rape.  (cracked)

First trailer of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows.  If you’re into that sorta thing.  (filmdrunk)

Speaking of trailers, how about The Social Network?  (comingsoon)

Jeph Loeb is bringing Marvel to T.V.  In other news, his name is spelled Jeph.  (iwatchstuff)

The women of DC Comics.  I love a tough broad.  (ugo)

13 songs that would make awesome comics.  This is super cool.  (comicsalliance)

Nic Cage’s 9 most batshit performances.  So wait, he’s only done 9 movies?  (toplessrobot)

Don’t know what to get that obese, beach-loving relative?  How about flip-flops that look like a brisket sandwich?  (etsy)

Never one to miss out on exploiting a cherished memory we had from the 80’s so that some 14-year-old asshole can look cool and have no idea why, Urban Outfitters presents us with the Truffle Shuffle tee.  (urbanoutfitters)

A male birth control pill?!  Unprotected sex, here I come/cum!  (telegraph)

Next time someone wants to play paper/scissors/rock, suggest that they play monkey/pirate/robot/ninja/zombie instead.  Also, never hang out with that person again, as they suggested playing paper/scissors/rock in the first place.  (albotas)

Steve Carell confirms he’s leaving The Office.  However, the show will continue jumping the shark in his absence.  (eonline)

6 slacker behaviors that are good for us.  You hear that, parents/teachers/ex-girlfriends??  Now get off my back!  (cracked)

What exactly is doodle-porn?  Well, I can’t really explain it.  But as Oscar Wilde once said, “Doodle-porn is meant to be loved, not understood.”  (doodleporn)

Have you ever played Mafia Wars on Facebook?  You’re an idiot.  You know who else is an idiot?  The people making the new Mafia Wars movie.  You know who the biggest idiots of all are?  The people who will inevitably see the Mafia Wars movie.  Idiots.  (pajiba)

10 best rockstar film performances.  Call me a sucker, but I loved Mark Wahlberg in The Happening.  (screenjunkies)

Oderus Urungus, lead singer of GWAR, lists his favorite war films.  Why, you ask?  Do you want him vomiting blood everywhere??  For the love of all that is holy, just let him talk about war films.  (ranker)

Horrible Bosses is a movie, and this is an article about it.  Probably.  (hollywoodreporter)

Darth Vader does a penalty kick.  I always imagined him more of a jai alai type.  (collegehumor)

Do you know anyone that still wears a watch?  If so, this 80’s cassette tape watch would make a great gift.  Also, remind them that it’s 2010 and that watches are sooo 1980s.  (theawesomer)

Look, I used to love Johnny Depp.  Moreso than the next person.  But I’ll be the first to say, someone’s gotta take him out quick before he makes anymore bullshit.  The equation “one bad movie for every good movie” ain’t workin’ anymore, Depp.  I don’t care if Verbinski is directing or not.  (iwatchstuff)

AT-AT Day Afternoon.  Almost as compelling as Dog Day Afternoon. Almost.  (youtube)

50 gimmicky uses for the iPad.  Maybe so, but I’d like to have patented one of those gimmicks.  Has anyone thought of an iPad app that ends racism? Fuck, I’m ’bout to be rich! (geekosystem)

And for our little kiddie Nerd City fans, I present you with the Sneaker Coloring Book.  Also for our talented graffiti friends.  (laurenceking)

Comedy.com has posted the article “The 10 Dumbest Events in Comic Books”.  Check it out, see if you agree.  Alls I know is, I actually own a couple on the list.