UK determines SkullSplitter brand image is too aggressive, promptly pisses pants

September 19, 2008


The Portman Group, a drinks marketing watchdog in the UK, has declared that SkullSplitter from the Orkney Brewery is in violation of the drinks industry’s code.  The name implies violence; and at 8.5%, the strength of the beer will have a negative impact on the drinker.  However, Tesco and Asda are still able to sell cheap, high strength lager at below-cost prices so students can defile local parks and the emergency rooms are full of people that don’t know when to shut up.

This beer has been around for 20 years, and is presumably the root cause of alcoholism and domestic violence in the UK.  Seriously, though, a well-made winter ale is too heavy and too expensive for lager louts to purchase and consume en masse.  This is another case of some stupid bureaucrat in the nanny state getting the red-ass and looking for a reason to be offended.  After all, the beer is named after a historical figure, the 7th Earl of Orkney, who just happens to have a kickass nickname.  I imagine this is a beer of which He Man would highly approve.

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    6 Responses to “UK determines SkullSplitter brand image is too aggressive, promptly pisses pants”

    1. ben Says:

      Best Blog Entry Title Ever!

    2. ForbiddenDonut Says:

      It reminds me of the bit toward the end of this video

    3. ben Says:

      I didn’t know what Orkney meant, now I do:

    4. ben Says:

      Correction: werd learnin’ be mad fun. Y’all conjugate too much.